Balanced Scales Read online

  "It's no problem. Just an excuse to come and get hot chocolate. I'm never going to pass that opportunity by."

  I smiled at him, unsure of what to do or say. Hot chocolate was something I'd heard about but never tried. Drinks weren't precisely necessary while under water. It was one of the many advantages we had.

  The woman from the counter bustled over and put them down in front of us. "Anything else?"

  "No, thank you, Linda." Another smile. I was starting to grow tired of the sweetness he exuded. It felt wrong, even if I couldn't quite work out why.

  I pulled the mug towards me, noting how hot it was and that I shouldn't drink it straight away.

  "What's brought you to land?" he asked, stirring his drink with one of the tiny spoons Linda had brought.

  "Something was stolen from me when I came above the surface." Technically not a lie. It was all I was going to tell him for now.

  "Oh no, I'm sorry." The shifty look was back, but I dismissed it. He'd nearly died the other day, there was no way he knew any more about the problem than I did.

  "Don't be. It's a problem that's been plaguing my people for a long time. I promised them when I came to land, I'd try and sort it for us all." It was my turn to smile at him, though I wasn't feeling it very much. The loss of my soul wasn't something to be light-hearted and sweet about.

  "I'm sorry to hear that." He took a sip of his drink, leaving the two of us in a somewhat uncomfortable silence.

  This wasn't going well, but I lacked any clue about how to extract myself from the situation without looking rude. Or like I suspected him of being the one who did the stealing. Obviously, he hadn't. He'd been so close to the edge of death that he couldn't possibly have taken my soul.

  "Have you heard any legends about mermaid souls?" I asked, hoping I wasn't giving too much away.

  "Not really." He shrugged. "There's one old tale that says a mermaid soul can allow a man to live forever."

  "That sounds like an awfully long time."

  He laughed loudly. "There's no truth in it. Most people don't even believe that mermaids are real. I can't say I did until the other day."

  I picked up my mug to take a drink, mostly so I didn't have to respond to his unspoken question. I wasn't ready to tell him any more about my people than I had to. It wasn't my place to tell anyone anything, and I would stick to that.

  A wind whistled past me again. There was definitely something odd about it. Shelbie raised her head, clearly alerted to something by it. Was there a chance that the wind was Aaron trying to tell me something? Even if it was, I had no idea what he was trying to say and that made his communication almost useless. We'd have to work on that in the future.

  "Are there many of you on land?" Erickson asked.

  "I don't know." That was the truth at least. For all I knew, every other person in this room was a mermaid with legs. I doubted it. There weren't so many of us that I wouldn't notice if people kept disappearing.

  "That's no fun."

  "Sorry, we don't talk much about being on land." Not a lie. He didn't need to know that we couldn't talk about it even if we wanted to. Well, sort of. It was just the curse we couldn't talk about as far as I knew.

  "So why are you here?"

  "I told you, something was stolen from me the day I saved you."

  "You weren't carrying anything, were you?"

  "No." There was no use in denying it. I'd used both of my arms to save him and he'd seen my tail. Unless I tried to pretend we had a special pouch in our tail that we could use as some kind of purse, I had no chance of convincing him I'd been carrying anything of any value.

  I supposed I could pretend it had been jewellery, but then why would I be so certain it was on land?

  There really was nothing for it. I had to tell him the truth.

  Another whistle of wind had me rethinking my decision, but I needed to find my soul somehow, and this just might be the way.

  "My soul was stolen," I whispered.

  "Your soul?" Erickson echoed.

  Foreboding filled me, no doubt spurred on by whatever weird thing Aaron was trying to do. I ignored it. The damage was done now, and there was nothing I could do about that.

  "Yes, my soul," I replied.

  "Do mermaids even have souls?"

  "Of course we have souls," I snapped, before realising it wasn't true. Only some of us had souls. The rest of us were relegated to my status. Though I'd never noticed any mer being treated any differently from the others.

  "But not you?"

  I sighed. "No, not me. That's why I came to land. I'd really like to get it back." I rubbed a hand over my face, trying not to let my emotions show in the way of tears. The last thing I wanted was for him to think I was weak and decide not to help me.

  "Do you know where to start?"

  I shook my head. "That's the problem. I don't even know what I'm looking for, but I feel lost without it."

  He studied me intently. "I might have an idea, but you're going to have to trust me."

  I nodded eagerly. "Of course. Anything you need." What was I doing? This wasn't the sensible course of action. I barely knew him and yet here I was taking his help? Maybe I'd lost my common sense along with my soul.

  "It'll be evening soon, we should get you somewhere to sleep. I have a spare room?"

  "You do?" I perked up. Anything where I could get comfortable. And used to my legs.

  "Yes. Why don't we go get you settled in? Then I have a couple of people I can ask questions of. Hopefully, we can get some pointers for the direction we need to take.

  "Thank you."

  He gave me another one of the charming smiles before rising to his feet and going to pay the woman behind the counter.

  I'd either just made the best decision of my life. Or the worst.

  Chapter Six

  I studied the room intently. It was so different from what I was used to, but I could definitely see the comfort in it. The bed bounced up and down beneath me, and the blankets looked far softer than the seaweed ones I used back home. But that didn't mean anything. I had a feeling sleeping while on land was going to be completely different from underwater. That wasn't going to be helpful. I needed to be well rested if I was going to have any chance of finding the souls.

  A cool wind ruffled my hair.

  "Aaron?" I called out into the room, hoping he'd answer and give me some explanations about what he'd been up to earlier. It wasn't like I could interpret random air signals. No one could, and I had an even bigger disadvantage just by being from the sea.

  Shelbie snored from her spot on the bed. She'd had no problems adjusting to life on land. Or the bed. In fact, she seemed to be particularly fond of the bed.

  Aaron shimmered into being in front of me, gaining some kind of form in front of me.

  I sighed with relief. At least he was still with me. "Is everything okay?" I asked him.

  "You shouldn't trust this man," he warned me.

  "Erickson?"

  "Is that his name?" He frowned, the expression odd considering there wasn't any physical being to him.

  "Yes. He's been nice. Bought me hot chocolate, given me somewhere to stay..."

  "Trusting humans is a bad idea, Mari," he warned. I supposed there was some truth in that. Before this, my experience with the human world had just been my soul getting stolen.

  "I'm not trusting him," I promised. "Far from it. I'm just accepting his hospitality and finding out what I can."

  His expression said he didn't believe me, but I had no idea how to change that. Or why he felt that way. I wasn't being a fool. Was I? Erickson had been nothing but nice to me. The same went for Aaron. It was hard to know who to trust when I'd only just met both of them at the start of this specific quest.

  "Just make sure you remember that," Aaron repeated.

  I dismissed the sense of foreboding that ran through me. Without knowing what it was about, there was very little I could do about it.

  I used to think I was in
telligent, now I was learning just how much I didn't know.

  "Do you know where I need to be heading?" I asked, hoping he'd have at least some information on where I could start my search for the souls.

  "I'm sorry, Mari."

  I sighed. I hadn't expected him to have any answers. How could he, when I had none myself? Maybe I'd been foolish to take this quest on in the first place. I wasn't anywhere near experienced or equipped for it.

  "How did you know I was soulless?" I asked. "When we met."

  "Your aura."

  "My aura?" I'd not even realised I had one. But then, I was just finding out just how many gaps in my knowledge I had.

  "Yes. Everyone has one. I can teach you to look for it." He gave me an expectant look, before realising what he was doing. "If you want, that is."

  "I would. " I nodded enthusiastically. If it would help me find the souls, then it was definitely something I wanted and needed to learn to do. Then I might not have to rely on Erickson for finding where I needed to be. The chances of him actually finding the souls already seemed slim.

  "Close your eyes," he instructed.

  I felt him move so he was sitting next to me, the bed dipping with his weight despite the fact he wasn't corporal. That was slightly odd, but I didn't question it too much. I didn't know much about his kind, which meant I shouldn't question it. Especially when we barely knew each other and he was doing everything he could to help me.

  "Picture Shelbie, but not her physical form, just the part that makes her Shelbie."

  "How do you know her name?" I frowned but didn't open my eyes.

  "You've used it at least a dozen times in my presence."

  "Oh." That did make sense. I talked to her all the time, even without meaning to.

  I dismissed my train of thought and focused on what he'd asked me to do. Lots of things made my pet herself. Her loyalty, her sense of fun, her love of chasing bubbles...

  "Open your eyes and look at her."

  To my surprise, there was a faint glow around her. I wouldn't have called it strong enough to be a soul, but it was definitely something. "What is it?" I asked.

  "It's her feelings. Right now, she's content and sleeping, so there isn't much to see. But it'll subtly change colour when her mood changes," he explained.

  "Oh." That could be useful. I'd always found myself worrying about whether Shelbie was happy or not. I hoped she was, but had no proof. If this trick worked, I'd know for sure all the time. "But how does that help me with finding souls?" That bit didn't make sense to me yet. Not at all.

  "Because people without souls don't have the colours around them. Not even the soft grey."

  I looked at him, testing what he was saying. "But how do I know if I'm just not managing to look properly, or if the person has no soul?"

  "You'll know."

  I studied him a bit longer, but no colours appeared. Shelbie's still existed in the corner of my vision though, so I knew I was seeing properly.

  "Thank you."

  "You're welcome."

  His smile was no less charming than Erickson's, but somehow felt more genuine, like he didn't have to force it. Though I suspected that could just be me projecting onto the two of them. Erickson was human, which meant I had an inherent mistrust, even if he hadn't done anything to deserve that. I needed to do a better job of breaking free of prejudice. It didn't reflect well on me, or on my people.

  I placed my hand over his, sinking through the transparent flesh.

  "Will you ever have a full body?"

  He shook his head. "I doubt it. I think my time in a body has long since passed."

  "You used to have one?"

  Something odd crossed his face. Like he wasn't sure how to answer me. Even that in itself told me what I needed to know. He had a body at one point, but didn't now. I had to wonder what had changed for him and what that meant for me. Hopefully nothing, but it did make me a little warier knowing he wasn't telling me the full truth about himself.

  "It's a long time since I thought about having a physical form. Let's just leave it at that."

  I didn't try and convince him otherwise. I knew the conversation was over and didn't want to press my luck in getting him to continue against his will.

  Chapter Seven

  Water pressed in all around me, demanding I did something about the terrible situation I'd ended up in. I could see other mer around me, each trying to speak to me. No doubt to tell me they wanted their souls back. Some were even shouting that it was my fault they'd lost it in the first place.

  I shook my head. That couldn't be right. No one had lost their soul since me, there hadn't been time. And even if there had been, I was certain dad would be keeping a closer eye on everyone now I'd disappeared. Maybe I should have told him where I was going and what I planned to do. No doubt he'd worked it out, but it might have been better actually coming from me.

  "It's all your fault, Demetra," one of the mer spat out.

  Wait...Demetra? That wasn’t my name. The only person I’d met with that name was the woman who helped me assure. Was this vision something to do with her? Was I now her? That was confusing at the best of times, but my curiosity stopped me from doing anything to stop the vision occurring.

  "I promise, it isn't, this has been going on far longer than any of us have been alive," I countered, though I had no control over the words. It was an odd feeling.

  "How do we know you're not lying? You've always been an odd one. Always off on your own doing other things..."

  "I was trying to find a way for us to break the curse," I insisted.

  A merman swam up to me, his features instantly recognisable but a lot younger than I'd ever seen them. I lifted my hand, wanting to reach out and touch him.

  Dad. He could help me. He'd be on my side, surely?

  "What did you do, Demetra?" He sighed, as if he was out of patience with me. But that made no sense. Dad was always patient with me. Always kind. He didn't even raise his voice when he was angry. This was worse than anger though. This was a disappointment.

  "Rhiadon, I did nothing, I swear." Dad's name felt both weird and familiar on my tongue.

  "How can I believe you?"

  "Please, Rhiadon. You know me. I wouldn't do something like this. I wouldn't betray our people..."

  "Enough," he snapped. "We can't trust you, Demetra. You went to the surface when you were specifically told not to, and you caused three others to follow you and lose their souls. You know what the punishment for that is."

  There was a punishment? Why hadn't he inflicted it on me?

  "No!" I cried out. I hadn't meant to, but there was nothing I could do to stop myself. I wasn't in control of my own body, that was for sure.

  "You've left me no choice. I'm sorry." The look on his face conveyed the truth in his words. "Don't return to the city. You're banished."

  Tears stung at the corners of my eyes, but I steadied my face. With all the salty sea water around, no one would ever know that I'd been crying if I kept a steady face.

  My heart cracked in my chest at my dad's loss, though it wasn't like I'd expected losing a family member to feel. This was soul crushing. Or it would be, if I had a soul. Perhaps luckily, I lacked just that.

  Blackness swirled across my vision, and I thrashed around, unable to tell what was happening. Something tightened around me, and I tried to break free.

  The murkiness cleared and I found myself staring into a mirror. My reflection was beautiful and familiar, even if it wasn't my face looking back at me. Somehow, I knew this was all happening in my head but wasn't able to wake myself from it. Which just led to the question of whether these were Demetra's memories, or if they were just my imagination making things up.

  The rest of the cave was almost exactly as I remembered from my own visit. With one exception...

  "What were you thinking?" he asked, clearly exasperated by my actions. I jumped at the sound of my dad's voice, but only in my mind. Demetra had expected him to be there, s
o our body hardly responded at all.

  "The youngsters were heading towards land, I had no choice," I responded.

  "Why didn't you just leave them be..."

  "Would you really still love me if I'd turned my back on them? They were talking about finding a prince on land, like the legends. The poor fools would have found themselves dead as well as soulless." Remorse filled me. I hadn't been able to stop them from forfeiting their souls, losing my own in the process.

  "There was one day left, Demetra. One day. I was going to ask your father if I could marry you..."

  "You still could." I crossed my arms and levelled my gaze at him. "With the position you hold, you could tell everyone that my version of events is the real one and still marry me. You probably wouldn't have to ask my father's permission now I have no soul."

  "I can't marry you, Demetra. You know that."

  I laughed bitterly. This explained so much of the coldness between my parents. They'd never married for love. Not if what I was seeing had really happened.

  "Of course. We wouldn't want you tarnishing your precious reputation now, would we?"

  "It's not like that..." dad started, but I had no doubt about his insincerity.

  My heart broke for Demetra. Though a part of me appreciated her even more. If she'd known whose daughter I was, she'd helped me anyway. Though maybe I was just part of some elaborate form of revenge against dad. With everything I was seeing, that seemed likely. But if it was, then why show me this?

  "Please leave, Rhiadon, you're no longer welcome here."

  "I can still come visit..."

  "So, I can be your mistress? Absolutely not. I am worth more than that. Whoever you choose to marry and have children with is worth more than that. I will live alone before I am anything more to you. Stay faithful to your wife, Rhiadon, or your children shall be soulless like me." I turned away from him, my heart breaking. Not just once either. My heart broke as Demetra, and then again for her. I loved dad, but this was a side of him I'd never seen. A side I wasn't sure I liked. One I'd have to deal with once I returned to the water. I couldn't ignore what I'd learned.